A wide range of codependency symptoms exist. Codependents often exhibit caretaking behaviors, have low self-worth, and spend exorbitant amounts of time and energy trying to help others, most often a family member who has some type of problem (Beattie, 1992).
Interestingly, codependents are so focused on taking care of others that they neglect themselves. Codependents typically have poor communication skills, weak boundaries, and are fairly bitter about the energy spent controlling others. This bitterness usually does not convince the codependent person to reduce controlling behaviors (Beattie, 1992).
Healthy and Codependent Relationships
Large differences exist between caring, loving, healthy relationships and codependent relationships. Those differences will be explored and examples will be given.
A healthy relationship allows each individual to grow (Beattie, 1992). In return, each individual yearns for the other to grow. A homemaker expresses a desire to attend college, earn a degree, and pursue a career in a field of her choice. Her husband encourages her to develop her interests and achieve her goals.
If the couple were codependent, the homemaker may be hesitant to have such goals or to share them with her husband. When she did share her goals the husband may resist his wife’s desire to expand her interests. The husband may discourage her from attending college and claim the family cannot afford the tuition.